The first time I passed a state beyond sobriety, rum was there. Before it went, it left two mates to wake up from a lovely dream to an open Kama Sutra in hand and an empty red plastic cup stuck to the other. That’s when we knew; we had to do it again.

And what began as a giddy, college love affair cemented into a serious relationship that I can count on and swear by. Especially during this cold season, when the same aforementioned friend quotes her father, a retired army officer who believes a good gulp of liquor is your “inner coat” against the winter siege. If you have that, why wear anything else?

But, it is essential to wear rum right—and as a woman who has run rum out of her nose, my credibility has, therefore, been established. The following basic guidelines are to serve as reminders to those seasoned fools (who still haven’t learned) and as pointers to those novices (who will still make mistakes).

• Rum is the only friend you need from late October to early March and any random chilly time of the day. However, it does have an all-purpose use throughout the year for ailments such as heartbreaks and unemployment woes. Just don’t overdo—you want to be savvy; not sick.
• Rum is about simplicity. It’s too stunning in its raw form and so far, Coke is the only faithful accompaniment that enhances it. Depending on your preferences, these are the safest choices. Know your body type. Au natural is not for everyone and making a tiny modification, such as mixing it with Sprite, will bring your chicken satay from your stomach to the sink (assuming that you make it in time.)
• Rum is social. Although it is nice to have your own little tea party in the boundaries of your mind, it tastes much better when consumed with close friends who exist in the real world. This way you will laugh a lot and thus, pee a lot. Good for both the bladder and the soul.
• A bodily message from Rum: drink lots of water. With ease, happiness will flow and show on that face.
• Another bodily message from Rum: prepare a satisfied stomach. It does not want to fall on emptiness. Otherwise, it’ll bounce right back up.
• An obvious message from Rum: keep it exclusive. Mix it with other alcoholic drinks and some guy will have to walk you around the neighborhood, like a puppy, just to ease your gigantic hiccups.

In the instance that I have forgotten to tell you what you already know, just remember, all problems can be solved by eating more food, drinking more water or simply, going to bed. But I hope that you will not get to this stage.

Winter is a wonderful excuse to enjoy rum wisely with your chums. And read the Kama Sutra while you’re at it. With rum, you shouldn’t need the one with pictures.